Sad

So today is it. Finally. Realisation. I feel sad as any one would when something ends. 

Today you said you didn't go back to my blog to read because you couldn't. A whole bloody blog dedicated to you - with my heart and soul bleeding on every post and you couldn't read it again. You compared it to an open wound. Hah. 

Anyway, you are an orange and i wanted you to be an apple. You can't be an apple and i don't want you to force yourself to be one (not that you would)... so ergo an impasse. Instead of letting you make my life miserable, I have decided today that I am taking my power back. One day you will wish you hadn't let me go or maybe you won't... but that won't matter.

What matters is that I don't allow myself to be dependent on you anymore. How can a fucking 47 year old woman be dependent on words on a screen? It is ridiculous and high time you snap out of it. 

I still haven't fucked anyone since you but now I'm looking. It may just be the tonic I need to get over this shit.