The Last Thing

We have had two glorious years (okay maybe one-and-a-half)... with ups and downs, but hey, who wants to ride on a merry-go-round when you can sit on a roller coaster. Anyway, all good things come to an end, and this is dedicated to you:

The Last Thing

Love was the last thing I was looking for.

After all, I had been there,
done that, and of that kind of pain
I have had more than my share.

So, when you came along,
and barely knowing me,
professed your love,
I brushed you off,
saying that it was simply
the sprites playing tricks on you.
After all, how could you love me
when you didn’t even know me?

Then, time over deceptive time,

you continued to whisper words of love
and sweet nothings into my gullible ears.
Planting gentle kisses and beguiling hopes
on my hardened parched soul.
Then, over time, the shields I had so
bravely worn to protect my fragile heart
were unwillingly worn away
and revealed my hidden whole.

And then time over illusory time,

Like a stupid, idiotic fool
That I was,
I embraced the last thing I wanted
which was to love you.

I forgot that I had so

precociously predicted,
two winters ago,
that the sprites would
tire of their mischief and you
would wake up and
realise it was merely a dream.

I was so worried that

you would be hurt

that I forgot

about

Me.

And then, as I foresaw

the sprites did leave
and you woke up
and loved me no more.

And I was left bereft,

without even knowing
what had happened
to change everything.

Was I too harsh  
Was I too mean  
Was I just too stupid  
To not have foreseen
 
This Pain.
 
This deserved Punishment for sheer stupidity.

So here I squat,

sifting through
the crushed, bone-dry leaves
of broken promises,
littering the cold stony floor,
looking for the scraps
of the shields I once wore
so I can assemble them again
and protect my heart
forever more.