what it means
to have lived a calendar’s worth
of days
of stumbling from grief
to fresh grieving
and not knowing why
to stir in the quiet
of mourning
to a keen and tumescent
yearning
to be milked dry
to be crippled by a rabid
jealousy
at the heresy of
a status update and
beginning to believe its lie
is
to have doubted and decried
as pilgrims sometimes do
and as I do too
in my pilgrimage towards you
is
to still the night hum into silence
with a lover's sigh
as I have done
when my thoughts have turned from you
is
to have whispered a dubious prayer
to gods impious and false
in hope, of course
that love given will be love returned
is
to have been a fool, sadly
at having loved quite madly
knowing full well
that Love favours he who avers less
and although love is all this and more
love is all this, no less.
14 February 2014
Kuala Lumpur
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