So you have arrived

So you have arrived last night. Nary a word.

I know because I checked my phone all night.

You know something funny - I had brought my sports shoes with me in case you had wanted to go for a walk this morning. Hah. The things stupid women do.

Don't tell me you just wanted to rest. I know someone must be keeping you occupied. You yearn for company, and I guess this is my realisation that you have found it. I hope she makes you happy. You deserve to be happy. As do I. I just can't quite figure out how to be yet.

Oh well. It will take me time to transition. I know this whole blog is about my transition and I should so get on with it already. It is so much easier said than done. In the self-help books, they say - oh just decide and do it.

Maybe I had not wanted to decide. I think I was still hoping. But since your arrival last night, it is hitting me harder. Perhaps it is intentional, perhaps you do want to say hi, as one might do to an old friend, but you don't want to start a conversation and give me false hope. You see, neurotic madwomen tend to start to imagine all sorts of things. It all starts with talking to ourselves. Which is what this blog is about.

Anyway, this broken-hearted girl should decide and decide soon because it really is too painful to continue like this. And yes today I have decided that I will cancel Jaipur. There is no point.